I guess it's time to go home

I don't know but if you ask me specifically do I miss home?
I don't think so.

People judge.
Everyone does.
A photo.A word.A decision.An expression.
That's the reason people always don't understand the reality.
They believe what they think and what they see and they make the judgement hastily without giving the effort to understand you better or deeper.
What a rushing world.Absurdity.Fake.

Yes JohnMayer I live so well in my imagination too.

I barely step out from my room after the final exam.

(Go ahead with your little judgement.sick.sociophobia.what-screwyourlittlestinkingtongueidon't fuckingcare-ever)

The hectic living schedule evacuate my soul.
The way they build up the interactions just make me so..exhausted.
So many people out there don't give a shit to themselves.
They just go out having fanatic fun and die in bed when the moon says hello.
That's how the youth rock the world,you said.

Well you want to know my thought?
I would rather extract my teeth one by one without any anaesthesia.
(No that's just kidding.I can't abide the kind of agony.)

He is Tyler. I gave birth to my baby when the final started.

He grows 3cm in one day, and I feed him with just water.
Sadly I am uncertain that I can see the budding of my wit after 21 years of nutrition and education.

Anyway. Just go home.

The place where you were born.
Then figure out a way to furbish your man suit.
I think reading is a pretty smart way.

"Didn't you realize that each of us is a sacred,unique snowflake of special unique specialness?"- Chuck Palahniuk.

Recipe

Thing about Fight Club is
You get the points
You'll be so trapped in Tyler Durden's illustration.

If you don't
Then go back and lick your 12 years education.

Starter For Ten

That book was hilarious.
(Somehow I think the movie was a little bit...vapid.)

But I was freaking astounded that Shanmugam came to my mind when the author introduced the main character Brian Jackson.

Give me indigenous astonishment.
Flash.

So practically I just envisaged Shan doing all those things in my eyes.
"The ironic thing is, I actually am a vicar!"
Shan is a vicar?!
"For a moment I find myself contemplating the politics of this black lacy bra."
Shan is thinking about bra?!

Give me restraint.
Flash.

Let me show you their similarities.

1.Hair
Brian thinks his hair looks like a large bell. Well his friend Tone describes it as the end of a knob.
HAHAHAHA.lmao.
Shan's hair was like that before his extreme make-over ok.

2.Brian has his father's jacket in his wardrobe.
Shan showed me his father/uncle clothes before.

3.Brian knows all the movie actors/actress.
Brian describes guy who runs five miles carrying a load of library books(fit and clever) as Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man.
Like may be Shan'll say 'Clement is the Daniel Radcliffe in Harry Potter when he smiles' instead of 'Clement is showing a BIGFAT grin'.
Or Shan'll say 'Clement is Taylor Lautner' instead of 'his brawn is as BIG(HAHAHA) as his head'.

Give me brazenness

Flash.

4.Sport
Brian goes sport after he falls in love with a girl named Alice.
Shan starts doing sport after _______________.

5.Knowledge
Brian knows R.J.Mitchell the aeronautical engineer died in 1937.
Shan knows lot of weird stuffs too. Like this "..Imperial Russian Navy's flagship in the Battle of Tsushima, during the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905. "

(wth is that)

6.Joke
Seems like Brian is the only one who understand his own jokes in the book. Alice always laugh awkwardly after Brian explained that it was actually a joke.
Sometimes I'll just stare at Shan, murmuring in my heart: Is that a statement or a joke? Because his always give you the same face!

Give me a good night yawn.
Flash.

What if dreams come true.

I woke up on Monday morning. 3 am.
I had threesome and oral sex with 2 classmates.
The third person must be a stranger. It's the rule.
It was a dream. I checked my pants.
It didn't get stained.

I woke up on Tuesday morning. 5 am.
My classmate lifted me up.
By holding my fully erected penis.
It was a dream. I smirked.
That particular classmate fully gained my attention the whole day in class.

I woke up on Wednesday evening. 6 pm.
Thinking. I am Joe's shivering testicle.
It was Fight Club. I touched my crotch.
I know because Tyler knows.

I woke up on Thursday afternoon. 3 pm.
Used to love the name Poison Ivy in Batman.
I have Poison Tears. Eye infection.
So don't fuck with me.
But the world seems more fantasy.
Nasty human looks a little bit cute in my eyeball, right side.
I still can see the menacing civilization at my left side.
How?

I woke up on Thursday again. It's still young night.
I can barely see the luminous moon.
Singing Don't Stop Believing so loud.
It was a dream.
I know because I only sing to my nostrils.
Never to my ears.

I woke up on Friday morning. 7 am.
Melvin said he was 15 years old.
Hilary Duff said she was 29 years old.
We were casting in a movie.
It was my dream again.I said.
Dear Friday. Dear Ferguson.

Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection

That's why they feel so intoxicated when they come closer to the popular colony, the perfect dependency.
They pretend like they have the same taste as the king of the popular gang.
Seems like it makes them more perfect.

Or they hate the same person for no reason, just because the so-called-perfect people doesn't like that particular human being.

Sigh.
They are so pathetic.
Even the new born baby owns much more freedom than them.
At least babies can cry whenever they feel hurt.
They only can keep their tears to their bottom of hearts.

Do not lost yourself in the nugatory matters of life.
We all miss the kindergarden-original-type of you.
At least I do.

A quotation from "Fight Club":
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

Am I What I Am (lll)

I am not a good guy. I steal, I lie, I gossip, I jealous, I have poor emotion management, I am fussy, I am lazy, I am not good at anything except being invisible.

I did not pay attention in class. I liked to stare at Dr. Mohan’s nose, Prof. Marya’s tie, Prof. Smales’s hair, Prof. Comfort’s jaw, Aimee’s new dress, how Sabrina tied her hair and play with Han Sern’s recorder.

I jack off when I lose control. Some guys feel so ashamed to admit it. Come on. This is part of our NORMAL life. We NEED it. Even girls also need it ok.

I don’t know how to behave myself as a university-year 2 student. Talk about politics? economic tribulation? I just know how to make 3 years old baby cries.

I think soccer players have the sexiest thigh and bum. So I am working hard on my thigh. My mum always complains I have no arse.

Sometimes I don’t don a smile on my face and sauntering around the campus alone. I just want to hear how my heart says about me. People just don’t get it and keep guessing the badass who provokes me.

My mum needs my company when we do shopping even she is buying lingerie or knickers. Seriously I am abashed surrounding by those sexy-big tits-lips-biting models advertisements.

I am curious women do blowjob for their own pleasure or for the men.

I learnt How to Speak Scottish Accent in YouTube. I failed.

I always want an elder brother. So he can share some things with me. Or teach me some THINGS that my dad doesn’t want to talk about. Lalala…

I like to play sliding board more than swing.

Omelette is my favourite food.

I never ask a girl out for a date.

I sleep with tight boxer short, or sometimes I naked, only when I am alone in room ok. My friend once thought I sleep with swimming trunks.

I googled ‘how to shout’. I don’t know. My shout is so not the real shout.

My mum always asks me to be like those holy teenagers who spent most of their time in church. I just want to ask them: Do you feel guilty when you watch porn?

I have never been in a Starbucks.

I believe in Aliens.

Everytime my mum scolds me, I feed her plants with the soup she cooks.

I was sitting in library and dreamed about AIMST chose me to be the model of those poorly-colours-matched brochures and some model companies spotted me and sponsored me to take part in American Top Model. Then I won and walking on the red carpet with Kate Winslet. Ok. I am a little carried away. And by the way, it’s Hollywood red carpet.

I hate reunion. It does not mean I hate my friends.

Cute-cute, the goldfish at home is not the same goldfish that my grandma gave me to look after when she went to Singapore.

I am afraid to go out with California-people. Kampong-Hang Tuah-people suits me better.

Seriously I’ll give a big slap if my partner talks to me in the babyish-act cute-coquetry tone.

I always have the impulse to put my plate upside down in front of Jaya Catering workers for giving me a nostril size chicken piece.

I used to hug my friends a lot which I think it is a kind of love and power teleport but they think it is sickness, sexual harassment. Fuck you. Experts proved that it is good for health you big moron.

This is extremely true and weird. I make the same dream everytime I get high fever.

I have 7 bags in my wardrobe. Too much?

I’ve never done anything to make my parents proud of me. Never.

Honestly I like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton. I don’t know why people hate them.

I like to notice people who is clearing their nostrils and where do they hide the shit.

If you can’t be honest with your friends and loved ones, then what is life all about?

Am I What I Am (ll)

I have secrets.
Of course I do.Everyone has secrets.
I’m not talking about huge, universe-shattering secrets.
Not the-aliens-are-coming-and-only-lady gaga-can-save-us type secrets.
Just little, normal, stupid secrets.

I like Cameron Diaz’s smile. It’s Sexy. Julia Robert’s is different. I call it Mercy.

I am 179cm. Not 180 like what I told everyone. And to be fair, it’s only 1 cm different.

I am afraid of the dark, always have been. I can’t stop thinking is there really a red dress ghost combing her fucking long hair behind me when the light is off.

I got the scar by falling into a big stink ditch because my neighbour kids dare me.

I hate to go church during Christmas.

I sometimes sit in lecture room and think, why are those people raise their fucking hands up? Put it down. I want to leave.

The dumpling that JH’s mother made was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted. I threw it into toilet bowl and flushed it and I told her mum that was delicious. Then she gave me more. I shouldn’t lie.

Sometimes, when I am in the swimming pool, I suddenly want to naked-swim.

I once had this weird gay dream about my “somebody”.

I’ve always had this deep-down conviction that I’m not like everybody else, and there’s an amazingly exciting new life waiting for me just around the corner.

May be I’ll crush into Prof. Smales and then I help him to pick up those files spread over the floor then he invites me to spend my 6 weeks holidays in London.

There was once I sat in gallery, looking at Ron, KK, Daozuo, Andy, Jeanette, Aimee, XL, Sabrina and Peta. Wow. They are so Manhattan-people. Then the very-Idaho-me secretly named them --“Swan People”.

I don’t know what G-spot is.

I twitter recently and I fake my identity as a sunny-hunky-blonde boy from Cardiff.

I am still a virgin. Does ‘virgin’ works on male?

I always want to apologize to Ms A, B and C but I never. Sorry. Actually I knew how you three nice girls felt/feel about me. I am just not so into a new relationship. And Mr. Z, thanks for asking me out on a date. I’ll call you if I turn gay.

My Nike bag is fake, rm15 from pasar malam.One of my friend said my nike bag looks gorgeous so he bought a same one (according to him) from the nike shop.It cost him rm4x.xx and he told me he was lucky because it was cheap.

Just now dinner time, when my dad said, “What are you thinking about?” and I said,” Oh, nothing,” that wasn’t quite true. I was actually wondering how I will look like if my mum married a Scottish.

I always wishing there is some Scottish and Swedish running in my blood stream. Scottish and Swedish mixed will be the sexiest, for me. You know that kind of blonde hair and crystal blue eyes.