They say, new year is a good thing, it's a beautiful chance to leave everything that was holding you back behind and then you start fresh, set your goal, take a leap of faith, like a baby bird flipping its wings for the first time. Some people feed on the hopes and dreams that a new year brings them, and they thrive, they try.
The truth is, I don't agree with that..spirit. My sadness, my fear, my despair shouldn't be limited in a time frame, I still need all of them in the future. I don't wanna be done with it, my failure pushes me strong, my dismay moves me forward, sometimes even backward. Every bit of it is as important as the moisturizer I apply on my face every day.
I don't want a specific date or time, to decide for me if it's time to get out of my bed and gain some weight. I will come clean when I am ready, I will reveal the secrets when I am prepared. In the mean time, I wanna hold on to the ashes and try to learn something while I drown.
In this new year, let's cry a little.
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