Am I What I Am (lll)

I am not a good guy. I steal, I lie, I gossip, I jealous, I have poor emotion management, I am fussy, I am lazy, I am not good at anything except being invisible.

I did not pay attention in class. I liked to stare at Dr. Mohan’s nose, Prof. Marya’s tie, Prof. Smales’s hair, Prof. Comfort’s jaw, Aimee’s new dress, how Sabrina tied her hair and play with Han Sern’s recorder.

I jack off when I lose control. Some guys feel so ashamed to admit it. Come on. This is part of our NORMAL life. We NEED it. Even girls also need it ok.

I don’t know how to behave myself as a university-year 2 student. Talk about politics? economic tribulation? I just know how to make 3 years old baby cries.

I think soccer players have the sexiest thigh and bum. So I am working hard on my thigh. My mum always complains I have no arse.

Sometimes I don’t don a smile on my face and sauntering around the campus alone. I just want to hear how my heart says about me. People just don’t get it and keep guessing the badass who provokes me.

My mum needs my company when we do shopping even she is buying lingerie or knickers. Seriously I am abashed surrounding by those sexy-big tits-lips-biting models advertisements.

I am curious women do blowjob for their own pleasure or for the men.

I learnt How to Speak Scottish Accent in YouTube. I failed.

I always want an elder brother. So he can share some things with me. Or teach me some THINGS that my dad doesn’t want to talk about. Lalala…

I like to play sliding board more than swing.

Omelette is my favourite food.

I never ask a girl out for a date.

I sleep with tight boxer short, or sometimes I naked, only when I am alone in room ok. My friend once thought I sleep with swimming trunks.

I googled ‘how to shout’. I don’t know. My shout is so not the real shout.

My mum always asks me to be like those holy teenagers who spent most of their time in church. I just want to ask them: Do you feel guilty when you watch porn?

I have never been in a Starbucks.

I believe in Aliens.

Everytime my mum scolds me, I feed her plants with the soup she cooks.

I was sitting in library and dreamed about AIMST chose me to be the model of those poorly-colours-matched brochures and some model companies spotted me and sponsored me to take part in American Top Model. Then I won and walking on the red carpet with Kate Winslet. Ok. I am a little carried away. And by the way, it’s Hollywood red carpet.

I hate reunion. It does not mean I hate my friends.

Cute-cute, the goldfish at home is not the same goldfish that my grandma gave me to look after when she went to Singapore.

I am afraid to go out with California-people. Kampong-Hang Tuah-people suits me better.

Seriously I’ll give a big slap if my partner talks to me in the babyish-act cute-coquetry tone.

I always have the impulse to put my plate upside down in front of Jaya Catering workers for giving me a nostril size chicken piece.

I used to hug my friends a lot which I think it is a kind of love and power teleport but they think it is sickness, sexual harassment. Fuck you. Experts proved that it is good for health you big moron.

This is extremely true and weird. I make the same dream everytime I get high fever.

I have 7 bags in my wardrobe. Too much?

I’ve never done anything to make my parents proud of me. Never.

Honestly I like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton. I don’t know why people hate them.

I like to notice people who is clearing their nostrils and where do they hide the shit.

If you can’t be honest with your friends and loved ones, then what is life all about?