Put me in a movie

For years I've been wanting to find a new place, perhaps an apartment on 73th floor, room with transparent walls, where white collar slaves from opposite building can spy on your sleeping torso every morning and grumble on their miserable life.
Or desert, I will leave my footprints all over the mysterious place with my camel. Showering in the river and wear something made out of leaves while waiting for my clothes to dry.
Exhibitionist. Because I've got nothing to lose, except my teeth.

I grow up in bus.
Spending long hours in your own tiny yet secured dimension, my body never get much chances to move, gleefully my brain does. I composed lyrics for graduation songs in the bus;I maintained a static position and finish my novels in the bus;I cogitate about my life that has been warily planned out for me ever since I was born.

The plan is already there, the voices of your parents, so naked in your ear, it sucks on your rebellion and blossoms into a picture of your future in your mind. What are you trying to pull?
I'm looking for the last drop of my original destructive atom.

Sometimes they don't let you accelerate or slow down because they've already calculated every step meticulously, you obey and follow. In the end you don't know what's it like to be a grown up, hence you accessorize yourself with sophisticated gadgets, calling your balls man because you can demand your parents to buy things for you. What you don't know is, they have your balls in their fists, but they cover it with true love.

Society has trained you so well that you never get the opportunity to enjoy poking finger into your nostril in public, that's how you make the wrong decisions and bad friends. You never smell them properly when they're around but only to be so brassed off at your mistakes at home when the night is quiet and nobody is watching.

You can be selfish when you're searching and setting up your dreams but you can't go the same way when you want to establish them. Too many considerations, too many distractions.
Parents are getting older and as much as they want you to fulfill your goals, they'd like to be in your plan too.
Don't abandon them for your beautiful luxury.
 
I give up my dreams for a reason. A very solid reason.