Just one drifter, off to see the world

July is here, somewhere in between preparing for my final exam and finding love, the weather's changed. I didn't manage to walk away from campus with a great love, but I found the library instead, right before my graduation.

Liking the idea of library didn't make me a regular student who visits the library as frequent as I would love to. Once a month, I dare say, alright may be not even that often. Losing something important before the grand final has made my room a depressing place to stay or to do anything else, very much haunted, I picked up my books and went to library.

Walking around the library just to search for my perfect spot, I was the Alice who found the wonderland. It's the tranquility, but also the brisk whisper; it's the unorganized shades of book covers, but it's also the silent agreement on not invading each other's personal sphere; I was alone, but not lonely.

I have been living between my room and library for the past 3 weeks. Sometimes I just go there to rest, write letters, and watch movies. I would love to make new friends in library, may be go out for coffee and share stories, that will be great. (Easier said than done, how often do you say hello to strangers sitting next to you, without freaking them out)

Somewhere in between indulging myself in library and chasing after the wind, I am myself again, the better version of course.

I am a writer

Ok fine, may be not yet. But it sounds more intelligent than "I am a dentist", don't you think so? I have been thinking of taking a writing class, or go to a community college where I only need to pay 2 dollars for school fee, sounds good to me.

When I was in primary school, every year the teacher asked us what do you want to be when you grow up? Everyone wanted to be teacher and the top 3 students wanted to be lawyer. If you weren't in the top 3 and if you said you want to be a lawyer, (scoff) be careful kid! I wanted to be a painter, not that you asked.

I was 14, after the unpleasant incident with my dad regarding his son getting too involved with colour papers, I decided, I want to be a writer. My primary school teacher used to ask me to read my essay in front of the whole class, to humiliate me I guess, because it was too "whimsical".

"I like your imagination dear but why can't you just write normally like how I taught you to? Tell the class how did you describe your kite in the essay."
Sigh.
"The wind roared like a fearless lion, and the sky has never been this colourful. I can see my kite up there, dancing like a lady ghost with full head of lengthy white hair."
Everyone laughed, till today.

Sometimes your dreams don't just vanish because you chose a 5 years relationship with dentistry. Some people don't do well with goodbye, they simply never let go. They are the braver dreamers, or the stupid one if you take your view from the other side.
I wait. It has been too long I am not even sure if my sentences are still coherent; I wait, probably there is just another endless tunnel at the other end and I am dancing my way into a complete darkness. I wait, because I don't say goodbye, I never let go.

And they say, giving up is the easy way out?