Put me in a movie

For years I've been wanting to find a new place, perhaps an apartment on 73th floor, room with transparent walls, where white collar slaves from opposite building can spy on your sleeping torso every morning and grumble on their miserable life.
Or desert, I will leave my footprints all over the mysterious place with my camel. Showering in the river and wear something made out of leaves while waiting for my clothes to dry.
Exhibitionist. Because I've got nothing to lose, except my teeth.

I grow up in bus.
Spending long hours in your own tiny yet secured dimension, my body never get much chances to move, gleefully my brain does. I composed lyrics for graduation songs in the bus;I maintained a static position and finish my novels in the bus;I cogitate about my life that has been warily planned out for me ever since I was born.

The plan is already there, the voices of your parents, so naked in your ear, it sucks on your rebellion and blossoms into a picture of your future in your mind. What are you trying to pull?
I'm looking for the last drop of my original destructive atom.

Sometimes they don't let you accelerate or slow down because they've already calculated every step meticulously, you obey and follow. In the end you don't know what's it like to be a grown up, hence you accessorize yourself with sophisticated gadgets, calling your balls man because you can demand your parents to buy things for you. What you don't know is, they have your balls in their fists, but they cover it with true love.

Society has trained you so well that you never get the opportunity to enjoy poking finger into your nostril in public, that's how you make the wrong decisions and bad friends. You never smell them properly when they're around but only to be so brassed off at your mistakes at home when the night is quiet and nobody is watching.

You can be selfish when you're searching and setting up your dreams but you can't go the same way when you want to establish them. Too many considerations, too many distractions.
Parents are getting older and as much as they want you to fulfill your goals, they'd like to be in your plan too.
Don't abandon them for your beautiful luxury.
 
I give up my dreams for a reason. A very solid reason.

For I set fire to the rain

I believe there is a side of us that your best friend will never know, like I have this small books(a few actually) where I keep all my bombastic vocabulary so that I can use words like Perspicacious or Pergola in my imaginary monologue.
But it doesn't mean all the things that I've said weren't true.

Murmuring to my handwritten letters and postcards often makes me..desolate. I saw my friend came back to room at 9am and went out again at 10am. This overdosed solitude isn't healthy and I know it. In the despondent desperation of holding on to something lively, I sketch human form. I draw faces with mesmerizing eyes, shoulders with prominent scapula.

All my friends are really nice person(ok not exactly ALL), but I'm just not that into Ipad or Igames. It must be very stupid of me, not knowing how to bang the fat opera singer down the stage or how to make a bird angry. Rapt in cogitation, may be it's because I refuse to grow up, or I simply don't want to blend in because I'm TOO self absorbed.

Of course there are many games that I want to play. I want to learn how to fly a kite, instead of putting 3 same coloured stone in a row and collect points; I want to learn Van Gogh's post-impressionism and tell stories with my painting, instead of drawing a joystick and ask my friend to guess what that is; I want to watch my friends smile and cry when they tell stories, it's just NOT RIGHT for everyone to have same electronic handwriting, I spent too much time in primary school to consummate my handwriting because my teacher said people will like you more if you can write beautifully.

I better stop throwing us into the flame, I think I just lost a few more friends.

Cheerleading

It's the kind of freaking challenging thing you swear during every practices that you won't join it again next time but after the 3 minutes of perfection, you'll be like: It's on, bitches!

See you next year.

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated

I haven't been blogging for SO long I swear the last time I blogged, my currently blooming third molar was still partially erupted. Warn you, you may find my sentences incoherent or words inappropriate, if you notice any missing comma somewhere in between my lines, leave me a note.

Just like when I picked up my reading again (two days back,YEEEHA), those words seem to be needing more time to reach my brain, all the intricate cheerleading count and patient appointments completely sclerosed my arteries and veins, I even forgot to remind my classmates to wear ang ang on our last lecture before Chinese New Year and take happy group pictures, this is cardinal sin, me tell you.

When I grow up I wanna be a star I wanna be famous I wanna be in a movie. Nicole Scherzinger told us that. Now look, she has boobies she danced with the star and she is on People Magazine.
Like a pathetic little bee, I flied around and bugged everyone with my question just two or three days ago, have they always wanted to be a dentist since they were small?

Surprisingly, no one. Except my long term neighbour Aimee, after realizing fireworks will never turn her into Britney, or mermaid.
Stewardess, singer, police, teacher, model (i know right..), dancer, pilot..
This morning I asked Dr R, he wanted to be a DOCTOR doctor, not a dentist doctor.
Normally this is where I write my fancy little theory about our society but sadly, my conclusion for this paragraph is: Bitches, Victoria Secret's models fuck us all.
(Eehehehehe and i get to put their pictures here)

Let alone has the past and future. Honestly I'm satisfied with how I've turned out to be. For example I used to think Britney was the only diva in the world.*scoff. Who am I kidding right?Look at Christina Aguilera and Beyonce.
If there is one accomplishment that I am absolutely so freaking extremely proud of is my evolution, musically. From Backstreet Boys to Miley Cyrus to PussycatDolls to The Beatles, and it goes right up to Genesis and King Crimson and Adam Hurst and of course my favourite The Doors.

Everyone has their unique talent. Like my Brazilian best friend Adriana Peta can dance like...like a Brazilian. If you wanna know what mine is, you are looking at it.

Not trying to boast but I can mix the exact same colour you want by...feeling. Just like swimming, painting has the effect of a spell, taking me out of the ordinary relations with humanity and enclosing my whole body in a sphere by myself.
I draw Destruction, I draw Sex, I draw Inferiority.
Yes society doesn't allow us to exude any of that, people will call you Whore and Victoria will never tell you her Secret.

Life like this you fall you crawl and you take what you can get, and turn it into honesty. Promise me I'll never gonna find you fake it.
No,no.............no!

The ultimate perfecto

In the city, powerful women are everywhere. Some of them earn more money than men; some of them wear more pants than men.
In my dental building, women dominate the faculty, from the classroom to the clinic. I have 4 female class reps 4 years in a row. Damn right Beyonce, one day girls are gonna run the world.

*Princess Diana, the most perfect woman in every universe.

The woman empowerment arises so quick and so impacted that sometimes I think women secretly want to be their own man. May be plus a vibrator.
That way, they can keep their head focus on the career and protect their hearts from breaking into million pieces, and still get orgasm.
They get the best of every world. They make the best out of every world.
Men can't be the ordinary man anymore, either the supreme womanizer, or a piece of boring shit. And of course, there is always a friendship forever, let's not forget about this.

From what I learnt from movies, woman dated a guy then she will figuratively dissect her date with her bunch of posse, until they all found one tiny nano blemish out of the guy who happen to like the girl very much.
"He likes to shower after sex." "That's so weird.""I know right!"
"He still goes to church with his mum every Sunday..""A HOLY son, seriously?"

*Jamie Oliver, cook and british, flawless!

The process is inevitable, like how men will talk about the same stuff with their buddies.
"I scored again yesterday night.""AGAIN?!"
"Eh check out her twins."
For most city men those trivia doesn't really matter, penetration is the only real deal after all.

Women's expectation towards men is getting higher and higher, they expect man to be as charismatic as spiderman, and exuding the sense of mystery at the same time, like batman. When men's commitment issue is still an insurmountable conundrum, under the colourful neon light, everyone starts looking for a one night fling, nothing serious.
They replaced love with the idea of companionship.

Whore and manwhore, they are the new love.

5 letters. Starting with T and ending with G.

Am I sensing someTHING between you and that cute butt?

How's the THING going on?

Wow check out that sexy little wild THING!

Honestly it feels..relieved, to replace whatever-it-is with the term THING. It's like as long as you don't label it, or you don't figure out what the hell it is, then you don't have to carry the responsibility on your shoulder.

"Dude/Girl (I don't wanna be a sexist here), you broke her/his heart!"
"Whatever, it's not like we have love, it's just one of those things you know."

I blame it on our age, that sometimes when it comes to love, we sorta..handle it offhandedly.
Is it because we've waited long enough so when the sweet moment left and we don't feel right anymore, we tend to skip the middle-whatever-it-is part and jump right into the verdict.

Let's see..set eyes on the target..stalking on FB..scratch off your scalp thinking how to get the handphone number..sms everywhere everytime..sitting in cafe/library/swimming pool forever just to bump into that person accidentally on purpose..the pretentious FB chat..ceaseless flirting and scheming..FINALLY.FIRST.DATE.

Well, it's indeed a long preparation.
Boy was enchanted to meet the girl; Girl was thinking how to be the person he misses at night.
Both side want to know how the thing leads them to any level, see how thing goes!
I believe that's why some people ended their relationship hastily before the boiled water manage to soften your instant cup noodles, because they CAN leave everything behind and get ready for the next exciting, refreshing, better experience (they think.HA!).

It's like root canal treatment, we take multiple visits to access and shape the desirable form, but when the thing is done, we only take 15 mins (30 mins top) to seal the whole thing that we've worked for the past few weeks. BYE. Never going to see you again.

Beep.

"Hey clement you wanna hang out?"
*Staring at my tumblr and other window tabs
"Err, no. I have a thing later."
*Continue tumblring.

Easy. No guilt at all.

To the moon. And back.

I've been away for so long but what can I say, tumblr has more fascinating pictures than clementomy.
It's such a convenient tool to express what I want to say, and what I don't want to say. Just strolling down the page and click "Reblog" whenever I see pretty/funny/obscene picture.

The brilliant creator designed it in such a simple form, to the extent that I don't care if I ever put any effort in explaining my smile and tears. A picture tells it all, which lead me to a belief that one day all the novel will be evolved into picture form, just like kid story books, because adults are too busy to translate words with their brain.

When I feel sad I reblog a picture of strangers with their tears rolling down.
When I am happy I reblog picture of Nicole Scherzinger.
When I get lonely I reblog picture of couples kissing in bed. or something like that HAHAHA.

My emotion has became less valuable because it's not as beautifully photographed as others'.
Because I, the master of my own body, don't give a damn to put it down in words or if I choose the right word to express my feeling anymore.

But things will come to a halt no matter how terrific it has been, like how I came to this point finding watching adult movie as meaningless as waiting for poo to come out.
But I know the ending of something will carry out the outset of something else, in character radiation style, the vacancy will never be empty.